I can’t imagine a worse nightmare as an adoptive or birth parent than having to make the decision to place your adopted youth in residential care.
Perhaps she is deeply depressed, shut down and unresponsive, cutting herself, or attempting suicide.
It would be so easy to deem yourself as a failure parent.
Instead, why not tell yourself and your child that you are sending her away for a year to save her life?
It still will be extremely painful to say goodbye, knowing that your child fears abandonment.
However, she will live through it and hopefully grow from it.
How can I say that with confidence?
I’ve been there.
When my family checked me into a stress center for clinical depression, tears ran down my daughter’s and husband’s cheeks. I felt so guilty for causing them such pain.
After the intake interview and a short visit in my room, they left.
Two huge doors shut behind them.
Heart pounding, I ran to follow.
A nurse told me I was in a lock-down unit.
In the weeks ahead, my depression was brought under control through drugs and therapy.
Eventually, I regained my emotional health and grew stronger.
You may witness some of what my family did…but know that the pain is temporary and your child can grow stronger because of the decision you’ve made.
Placing your child in residential doesn’t mean you are a failure!
It means you are doing the most loving thing possible for your child.
Some day, she will thank you…just as I thank my husband and daughter for keeping me safe in the hospital.
Write to me if I can be of any help to you!
Helpful link with tips: http://jonnymatthew.com/2015/11/29/residential-child-care/