An Open Letter to Hurting Adoptive Parents

Don't give up on us!

Most adoptees want to live There is a force fighting against us that keeps us believing lies and acting accordingly. Please don’t give up on us. Storm heaven’s gates for us?

Dear friends,

After reading the blog entries of nearly 15 adoptive parents who are desperately discouraged, I felt I must write to you.

Even though I can’t speak for every adoptee, I can speak for myself.

We want to love you. We want to be able to have healthy relationships with you and others, but we are not able. We are constantly on defense and trying to survive the brain trauma that keeps us from hearing and receiving your love.

Please don’t give up on us.

Please look at us like Jesus….”forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.”

Even if we’ve rejected you in the worst way, will you turn to God and pray for us? Will you pray that God will shed light into the dark places of our hearts? Will you pray that our birth family fantasies will melt into reality? Will you pray against the lies we have believed and against the generational sin that holds us captive?

Please don’t give up on us.

7 comments to An Open Letter to Hurting Adoptive Parents

  • TaSt

    I so needed to hear this tonight. I’m beating myself up over the times I’ve walked away when she has pushed, pushed, and pushed me away. I know that is the worst possible thing for me to do.

  • Gabriella


    Yes, it is sometimes discouraging as an adoptive parent, but we are not the ones who have suffered the horrific wounds our children have. I will never, never give up. One of my sons left us to go live with his biological mother and that tore my heart apart. However, I never stopped loving him and he came back just a few months later with a completely different demeanor. He probably needed that experience to find a missing piece of himself. I know my children love us and I am so very glad of the choice my husband and I made several years ago, even though it has never been easy. Thank you for your words Sherrie. I also cannot speak for every adoptive parent, but I know that most do not give up.

  • Gabriella,
    Your post is incredible.
    Thanks so much for sharing your story.
    Yes, I know most adoptive parents won’t ever give up.
    What you read was the little kid inside of me:-)
    Keeo sharing your story!

  • Dee Proietto

    Thank you for this precious letter. It was beautiful. I found a great therapist to help me heal from my own rejection and abandonment wound. I can see more clearly what my son feels being adopted. Working on myself has been such a blessing. We have all been wounded but God came to heal the broken-hearted, set the captives free and take away the shame of our youth. Our story is still being told. Dee

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>