Finding Little Me

Finding Adoptee Voices

This is a Russian stack doll and can be used to help shut-down adoptees discover their voices.

“Write your story” is what’s trendy now in adoption circles amongst adoptees.

YIKES…I can’t do that.

I’ve written seven books, some which tell the circumstances of my story,  but my voice…it’s missing.

Last night I lay in bed, panicked about not being able to find my voice.

Where is my voice?

How can I find the voice of the baby, toddler, school age, teen, and the married Sherrie?

She’s hiding somewhere. 

Recently, I wrote what would probably be the first few paragraphs of the story. It came together in an almost magical way and I felt so pumped after writing it.

It was then that I remembered what my friend, Shefalie Chandra, taught me about stack dolls. As a therapist in the UK, she uses them to help clients get in touch with the developmental stages of their lives.

How Your Child Can Use Stack Dolls for Writing Project

Here is what she taught me:

  1. The biggest doll is current age
  2. The next doll 10 years earlier
  3. This continues all the way to the end…to the little me
Talking with Little Me

As you open the stack dolls, there is always a littler one inside. Ask your child what she would say to the smaller/bigger one.

Then, the present-day me asks baby me some questions:

Present-Day Me: ”There you are, sweetheart…I  found you! Oh my gosh, you are so beautiful. Your skin is so pink and soft and I love your brown hair and eyes.  I am here with you now and I will always listen to your voice. I know that you’ve been through a lot already because your birth mother didn’t  want you. You even knew that before you were born. Will you let me hold you? Will you let me cuddle you close? I love you so very much.”

Baby me: “Wah, wah, wah. I can’t stop crying. My tears won’t end. I am afraid for you to hold me because no one ever did after I was born. I was put in an incubator and I felt so all alone. I don’t know what love is…is it being sent away from my mom to be alone in an incubator? If that’s what love is, I don’t want anything to do with it. Don’t look at me.”

This is how I will start my writing project.

When looking up stack dolls online, I saw that they make them with nine dolls. I think that would be perfect for each stage in life

6 comments to A Practical Writing Project for Shut-Down Adoptees and Foster Kids

  • Shefalie

    Great Sherrie……so glad you found some dolls to use…….I know they will help you and give many the opportunity to do so as well…….a great resource and tool to use in the healing journey of our lives when we feel stuck etc…….shefalie

  • Michelle

    Sherrie,

    I so appreciate your sharing and continuing to seek deeper healing. As a mom to two adopted daughters (my phone autocorrected to “adopted” to “adored,” which is sweetly accurate), I am constantly praying and working toward their wholeness and integration as the precious people they are. Your posts both help me see a few years down the road (they are currently 8 and 2 years old) and help me understand better what questions may be in their hearts now.

    God bless you.

    Michelle

    • Hi Michelle,
      Thank you for taking time to write and share briefly your story of how you’ve been touched by adoption.
      Sometimes, computer corrections are fabulous…either that, or funny!
      I am glad that the insights provided here are helping you to parent proactively with your girls.
      May God bless you as you instill your love and wisdom in them.
      Love,
      Sherrie

  • Dee Proietto

    A very powerful tool to write letters to your self at different ages. Nurturing the child that was wounded is so healing. He came to heal the broken-hearted and set the captives free. Dee

    • Great suggestion, Dee. Yes, He is close to the broken hearted and sets us free from old thoughts. The brain is amazing…how it heals itself. Of course, all credit goes to the One who created the brain!

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