An Open Letter to Hurting Adoptive Parents

Don't give up on us!

Most adoptees want to live There is a force fighting against us that keeps us believing lies and acting accordingly. Please don’t give up on us. Storm heaven’s gates for us?

Dear friends,

After reading the blog entries of nearly 15 adoptive parents who are desperately discouraged, I felt I must write to you.

Even though I can’t speak for every adoptee, I can speak for myself.

We want to love you. We want to be able to have healthy relationships with you and others, but we are not able. We are constantly on defense and trying to survive the brain trauma that keeps us from hearing and receiving your love.

Please don’t give up on us.

Please look at us like Jesus….”forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.”

Even if we’ve rejected you in the worst way, will you turn to God and pray for us? Will you pray that God will shed light into the dark places of our hearts? Will you pray that our birth family fantasies will melt into reality? Will you pray against the lies we have believed and against the generational sin that holds us captive?

Please don’t give up on us.

Finding Little Me

Finding Adoptee Voices

This is a Russian stack doll and can be used to help shut-down adoptees discover their voices.

“Write your story” is what’s trendy now in adoption circles amongst adoptees.

YIKES…I can’t do that.

I’ve written seven books, some which tell the circumstances of my story,  but my voice…it’s missing.

Last night I lay in bed, panicked about not being able to find my voice.

Where is my voice?

How can I find the voice of the baby, toddler, school age, teen, and the married Sherrie?

She’s hiding somewhere. 

Recently, I wrote what would probably be the first few paragraphs of the story. It came together in an almost magical way and I felt so pumped after writing it.

It was then that I remembered what my friend, Shefalie Chandra, taught me about stack dolls. As a therapist in the UK, she uses them to help clients get in touch with the developmental stages of their lives.

How Your Child Can Use Stack Dolls for Writing Project

Here is what she taught me:

  1. The biggest doll is current age
  2. The next doll 10 years earlier
  3. This continues all the way to the end…to the little me
Talking with Little Me

As you open the stack dolls, there is always a littler one inside. Ask your child what she would say to the smaller/bigger one.

Then, the present-day me asks baby me some questions:

Present-Day Me: ”There you are, sweetheart…I  found you! Oh my gosh, you are so beautiful. Your skin is so pink and soft and I love your brown hair and eyes.  I am here with you now and I will always listen to your voice. I know that you’ve been through a lot already because your birth mother didn’t  want you. You even knew that before you were born. Will you let me hold you? Will you let me cuddle you close? I love you so very much.”

Baby me: “Wah, wah, wah. I can’t stop crying. My tears won’t end. I am afraid for you to hold me because no one ever did after I was born. I was put in an incubator and I felt so all alone. I don’t know what love is…is it being sent away from my mom to be alone in an incubator? If that’s what love is, I don’t want anything to do with it. Don’t look at me.”

This is how I will start my writing project.

When looking up stack dolls online, I saw that they make them with nine dolls. I think that would be perfect for each stage in life

05/05/17 – Brentwood, TN – Brentwood Baptist Church – Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit

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