When A Gift Isn't A Gift

Here’s my gift for you!


You don’t want it?

Tough life lessons.

We all get them.

More than likely, they come in the midst of suffering.

Suffering is the catalyst that brings forth the gold.

“But he knows the way that I take, when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold. (Job 23:10 NIV)

The last life lesson came for me when one of my grandchildren had a serious health condition. It shook me to the core, for who can be more dear to a grandma than one of her grands?

Grandchildren are a special blessing. Yes, we love being parents, but when one becomes a grandparent, there is absolutely nothing to compare. It is one of the highest privileges of my life. I adore all six of them.

When suffering hits, the over-giving part of me frantically searches for possible solutions for their pain. Dazed and walking the mall, I wonder if I bought such and such if it would ease the pain of my loved ones.

I want to DO something. Just BEING is not enough. And, apparently, in my heart of hearts, God was not enough either.

Giving in abundance has been my style. Bob doesn’t call me “over the top Sherrie” for nothing. I always over-give. “You don’t have to do all that,” he relentlessly repeats year after year.

Little did I know that my over-giving not only complicated the lives of those that were hurting, but had the potential of actually hurting. All I knew was that over-giving made me feel good, never suspecting that it could be an addiction.

I was like the late Doris Roberts who played the mom of Ray Romano on Everybody Loves Raymond TV show, who barged through the door with goodies incessantly…goodies that weren’t asked for.

  • You mean they didn’t want the three dozen cup cakes I baked and brought over?
  • And, how about the time I left an apple pie on their doorstep?
  • What about my offer to do laundry?
  • What about my offer to give up all my activities to be at their disposal?

My motive? I over-did out of the goodness of my heart, right?

No, it was out of unbelief that God could take care of them…pie and all. Basically, it was me trying to take His place. Some call it the Messiah complex.

Jesus is the only Need-Meeter. He is God Almighty, Abba Daddy.

Over-giving was also proof of lack of boundaries…by golly, I would do this good thing no matter what.

Now, I’m learning to pray, sit back, give when called upon, and watch God show off in unexpected places and ways, especially in the fires of affliction.





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